Friday, July 27, 2007

Nicole Richie Escapes Serious Jail Time



Okay, Nicole Richie just cashed in her one time only Daughter-of-Lionel-Richie-get-out-of-jail pass. There will be no repeat offers if she fucks up again. Seriously: Ritchie is not a Lohan; Nicole doesn't roll like that -- she's, what, 80 lbs?!

Soaking wet.

Paris and Lindsay can take care of themselves. They both have that "nurtured in the wilderness" quality. Paris and Lindsay can nestle inside a dark, cold place deep inside themselves and resurface at the prison-term's end with rib-busting ox-strength; Nicole Richie is, like, test-tube baby fragile (okay?). Nicole Richie is "fresh-fish" from the get-go. She'll be someone's bitch the moment they issue her the state-issue "uniform." Nicole will be singing her "Boss" to sleep with the sweet-ass lullaby's from The Commodores song catalogue!

They had to let Nicole off light. They HAD to. Cause she's easy; easy like Sunday morning. From Variety:

"Nicole Richie pleaded guilty Friday to driving under the influence of drugs and was sentenced to about four days in jail and fined by a court commissioner who said she was lucky nobody was killed when she drove the wrong way on a freeway."

"Richie, the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie, was subdued and somber as she was lectured about her driving. She entered court on the arm of boyfriend Joel Madden.

"Richie, who's rumored to be pregnant but has not confirmed it, wore a loose-fitting, knee-length black dress and spiked heels. She stood before the judge and softly answered 'guilty' when asked how she pleaded to the misdemeanor charge. She initially pleaded not guilty in February."

And who among us has not sprayed hot tears to a Lionel Richie song. We're not saying that some of that Ritchie-bonhommie affected the court commissioner, The Corsair is simply saying that we would not want to be the one who sentenced Lionel Richie's grandchild to be born in the pokey. Hello?


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