Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Paris Hilton Cries: "It's Not My Fault!"



Oh Paris, please. Everything bad in America in the last 5 years is your fault. Own up to your Herpes-infused and racist lifestory. This gossip is one day old but still quite delicious. It comes from Rush and Molloy, on Paris Hilton's 26th Birthday. We thought she had already had a party and no one except Nicole Ritchie attended. We guess she decided to have another. Bad pimp move. Says Rush and Molloy:

"(I)f you were looking for celebrity mayhem, Paris Hilton's birthday bash Saturday night was the place to find it.

"The hotel heiress was reduced to tears after oily heir Brandon Davis' lewd behavior drove Courtney Love, Paula Abdul and others from the dinner celebrating Paris' 26th year, according to witnesses.

"Hilton's parents, Rick and Kathy, spared no expense in arranging a party at Prime Grill, the Rodeo Drive restaurant where Madonna is an investor.

"'They must have spent $10,000 on the flowers alone,' said one source.

"At first, perfection reigned: Paris couldn't have looked happier with on-again boyfriend Stavros Niarchos. And she shared big hugs with former foe Nicole Richie, who came with rocker boyfriend Joel Madden.

But around 10 p.m., Davis started acting up. 'He was hurling flowers at Paula Abdul,' says a guest. 'Then he began bombing her with Styrofoam flower-holders. He was shouting, 'Lick my [BLEEP], Paula!' He started mocking her ancestry by speaking gibberish in an Arabic accent.

"Stavros and Paris tried to stop him. Paris said, 'Shut up, you're wasted!' But it was too late. Abdul, who was due to sing 'Happy Birthday,' made an early exit.

"Davis then turned his dim beams on Love. "He lifted her up so that she was straddling his waist," says a witness. 'Her Chanel dress was riding up. Brandon was saying, 'I want to squirt on you.' He was humping Courtney in front of her daughter, Frances Bean. When he put her down, Courtney grabbed Frances and they marched out of the restaurant through the kitchen.'

"It didn't stop there. 'He was knocking over glasses and candles on the table,' says a source. 'Paris was crying to her mother, 'This is not my fault!'"

That's like saying it isn't PT Barnum's fault for the circus. The coup de grace:

"After Davis was encouraged to leave, Paris blew out the candles on her cake and everyone headed to an after-party at her house.

"'Incredibly, Brandon showed up at Paris' place,' says a source. 'Security guided him downstairs. They were under orders to keep him away from Paris.'"

In mild defense of the oily haired oil heir, Brandon didn't get the Instant Message that all-of-a-sudden Paris hilton is now feigning maturity. At 26. Who knew. In another era, Brandon's oily humping of Courtney Love and hurling racist invective at the perennially woozy Paula Abdul would have been met with an airy disembodied Paris laugh, the same laugh we heard echoing in our heads days after Brandon's "firecroch" tirade. Brandon probably felt that he had to one-up himself to keep Paris' attention away from the undeniable fact that he is hopelessly covered in loserdust. How was the bloated chump like Brandon Davis (Eew) to know that Paris, at 26, had outgrown racism and artless humping in full view of the public.

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