Thursday, June 22, 2006

Has Hasselhoff Jumped the Shark?




(image via ariped)

We know, we have been obsessed by David Hasselhoff of late. Can you blame us? That rich voice, with its meaty, full-bodied texture, alighting the seedy German pop world. And that massive cranium, with it's rather severe perm. (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment) Hasselhoff embodies the Triumph of the Soap Opera Face.

Further, With all his "Hasselhoff Money" he really doesn't need to work, yet still he does. Howeever poorly. According to Popbitch:

"We've been David Hasselhoff cheerleaders for years but we fear perhaps the joke has gone too far. From being a washed-up drunk, the Baywatch star has made an amazing comeback, landing TV and stage roles plus a new record contract but all the love seems to have gone to his head."

We're not going to touch that. Low hanging comedic fruit, and too easy besides. Enough has been said about the massive hunk of cheese that is the Hasselhoff head. It continues:

"Dave's ditched the wife and kids and any attempt at post-rehab sobriety and is instead roaming the world in a 'Don't Hassle The Hoff' t-shirt. He was recently booked for Google's summer party in Berlin. slurred his way through a set of pop songs but couldn't remember the words to his new release Jump In My Car so Google staff had to write them down and tape the sheets of paper around the stage."

The idea of The Hoff roaming the world with his big head like Cane in "Kung Fu," singing bubblegum pop, crunked up on the brown juice strikes us as in equal parts worthy of a very special "Behind the Music," and nourishment for a summers worth of meaningful blogging.

The summer's just begun, folks

1 comment:

Mathr said...

hey! like the shirt says... "don't hassle the hoff!"

he'll ride down the beach on his bike (at knight) and steal your girlfriend. he keeps watch.