Monday, September 20, 2004

Did Halle Ask For Advice From Los Angeles Sentinel?



The Corsair has been burned by shadowy stories emanating from those UK papers. The Corsair is still licking his catty paws from the crisp singeing by that faux Carmen Zeta Jones Mexican near kidnapping hoax, so I'll skeptically post this -- eyes rolling -- and neither confirm nor deny it's veracity (I have neither the time nor the inclination for that, guys), and let the fullness of time either bear it out as true or consign it to the flames of the lie. This is a story too good to be true with just a whiff of credibility. Just a whiff.

Why would accident-prone A-Lister Halle Berry want to write to an advice columnist in a free weekly? I mean, her mom was a psychiatric nurse in a veterans hospital for 35 years, and she is in therapy now, so why would she need to turn to a weekly rag? And then there's Warren Beatty (okay, that Padawan-Jedi relationship she has with "The Pro" is really creepy), whom she is always asking for career advice. It seems wholly illogical that she would need some "down home cooking." In the hood, advice columnists from free weeklies are to Freudian psychoanalysts like Olde English 800 ("Ghetto Lithium") is to Prozac.

Then again, the Los Angeles Sentinel is the oldest and largest black-owned weekly newspaper in the West, and such publicity would give her major steet cred. Perhaps Halle wishes to get in touch with her African-American roots?

Fuck if I know.

According to The Daily Mirror:

"HOLLYWOOD stunner Halle Berry is so depressed she has turned to a newspaper agony aunt for help.

"The Oscar-winning star revealed she had been struggling to cope with two failed marriages and the box-office failure of her latest film, Catwoman.

"Halle, 38, opened her heart to a US agony aunt in Los Angeles and told her she had been putting on a brave face.

"She wrote: 'I never let the world see me cry. I'm at a low point right now but I have to keep my head high.

"'I wish the world viewed me as any other woman that makes mistakes when it comes to life, men and decisions in general.'

"She added: 'It's shocking because I never thought it would happen to me. This thing with Catwoman is really affecting me but I've put up a brave front to get past it.'

"She ended the letter, saying: 'I'm really Halle Berry and this is not a hoax. What advice would you give me? Feel free to print my name because I'm not ashamed.'"

"When Los Angeles Sentinel columnist Deanna Michaud saw the letter she thought it was a hoax, but after checking personal information included, she is convinced it is genuine."

Hmm. Now this sounds fishy.

"Deanna advised Halle: 'Like all women, you also have personal issues only you can work out with a strong support system, professional counselling and faith.'

"Halle starred in Bond movie Die Another Day and won an Oscar for her role in 2001 film Monster's Ball."

Deanna Michaud advices (air quotes) "Halle Berry"

"Dear Halle

"Vulnerability will be your salvation

"No one can have it all. Doesn't matter whether you are a Hollywood superstar or work in a supermarket checkout, there will always be something or someone you desperately want, but you cannot have. That, if only you would stop feeling so sorry for yourself, is what makes life interesting. It means we goon striving - and hoping.

"Of course, it's your personal failures as well as those professional ones which are currently getting you down.

"You're also 38 which isn't an easy age for anyone but, for you, it's the double whammy because Hollywood spits out ageing actresses at the first wrinkle.

"It's not surprising you're feeling frightened. Just as money can't buy love, neither can an Oscar guarantee perpetual box office success.

"Fame is fickle as well as fleeting and is also confusing. You're asking yourself if people, especially men, want to be with you because you're Halle or because you're Hollywood?

"Time, think, to learn who you really are and to learn to get to know and to like that person. After all, if you don't like you, the real you, no one else will.

"Finally, you've suddenly realised you're vulnerable.

"And in some way, Halle, that's your salvation - because it makes you human and believe it or not, more lovable.

"Joan"

The Sunday Express apparently contacted Deanna (no express link; story via DigitalSpy)"

"Deanna explained, 'I'm satisfied that this is an authentic letter from Halle Berry. She told me something in her letter which is so very personal only she would know it.

"'I've been able to verify that the very sensitive, confidential information she included - which will not be published - was indeed, penned by her.'"

How many cliches were contained in this advice? But then one doesn't expect Jung from a weekly giveaway paper. Fake or real? We report, you decide.

2 comments:

The Corsair said...

you're probably right. I was skeptical yesterday, now today it seems even less likely.

The Corsair said...

I know. The thing that is so weird about this is that Halle is kind of a freak, so, you never know. But, more likely, a fake -- I cannot imagine that they have anything resembling a fact checking organization there, I mean, what free throwaway weekly does. I'm going to be writing a letter asking for career advice as Michael Jackson tonight. How can they even know it's not me? I'll use bad grammar and everything. I'm solid.