Monday, April 19, 2004

Condoleeza Rice's Freudian Slip

According to New York Metro, the usually tight-lipped National Security Advisor, Dr. Condoleeza Rice, let out something of a rather embarassing Freudian slip:

"A pressing issue of dinner-party etiquette is vexing Washington, according to a story now making the D.C. rounds: How should you react when your guest, in this case national-security adviser Condoleezza Rice, makes a poignant faux pas? At a recent dinner party hosted by New York Times D.C. bureau chief Philip Taubman and his wife, Times reporter Felicity Barringer, and attended by Arthur Sulzberger Jr., Maureen Dowd, Steven Weisman, and Elisabeth Bumiller, Rice was reportedly overheard saying, 'As I was telling my husb?' and then stopping herself abruptly, before saying, 'As I was telling President Bush.' Jaws dropped, but a guest says the slip by the unmarried politician, who spends weekends with the president and his wife, seemed more psychologically telling than incriminating. Nobody thinks Bush and Rice are actually an item. A National Security Council spokesman laughed and said, 'No comment.'"

As something of a creature of etiquitte myself, here are my suggestions to proper Washingtonians on how to handle another inevitable "Condi Slip":

Should the future MPAA Prexy refer to Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia as "my Wild Scallion," kindly inform anyone within hearing range, that yes, indeed, scallion dip would go well with the crudites.

Should the National Security Advisor refer to Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld as "my jump off," simply chuckle softly, as if a funny were made, then, lightly, change the conversation.

Should Condoleeza refer to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist as, "Dr. Love ..", steer the conversation over to the recent health care bill. If she refers to him as "my Tennessee Stud," run don't walk from the vicinity.

Should Condi refer to Attorney General John Ashcroft as, "my boo," briskly grab an appetizer, take a bite and remark to all those in the periphery, "Yes, Condi, they are good."

Should the National Security Advisor make any manner of "Condi Slip" regarding the name "DeLay," make way, post haste. There are some linguistic excesses that modern etiquitte are powerless to gloss over.

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